以前、猫の雑誌で読者の人の投稿(注1)を読んではっとさせられた(注2)ことがある。子育てが一段落したという投稿者の女性は、日々猫に癒されている(注3)そうなのだが、猫がごはんを食べたりしただけで「たくさん食べて偉いね」などと褒めちぎっているのだという。そんな自分の行動から、「自分の子どもにも口うるさいことばかり言わずに、もっと優しく接して褒めてやればよかった」と①振り返っていたのだが、子どものいない私にもその言葉は心に染み入るものだった。
子どもに限らず、家族や友人や恋人に私たちはさまざまな期待をし、時に「本人のため」という理由から厳しい態度をとることがある。特に「親」という立場であれば、子どもを自立した大人にしなければ、というプレッシャー(注4)からどうしても厳しくなってしまうだろう。しかし、それは時に本人を必要以上に追いつめ、最低限の「自信」すら奪ってしまうこともある。(中略)
だからといって②每日本当に食べて寝て遊んでばかりいられても困るといえば困るが、基本的には元気でいてくれたらそれでOKな気がする。
AI translation, cross-checked between two models.
Once, while reading a reader’s submission in a cat magazine, I was suddenly struck by something.(注1)(注2) The woman who submitted the piece said that her child-rearing days had settled down and that she was now comforted by her cat every day; she would lavishly praise it for something as simple as eating its food, saying things like, “You ate so much—good job!”(注3) Looking back on her own behavior, she reflected, “I wish I hadn’t spent so much time nagging my own child and had instead treated them more gently and praised them more.” Even though I have no children, her words sank deeply into my heart.
Not only with children, but also with family members, friends, and romantic partners, we place all sorts of expectations on others and sometimes treat them harshly on the grounds that it is “for their own good.” Especially in the position of a “parent,” the pressure to raise one’s child into an independent adult probably makes it difficult not to become strict.(注4) However, such strictness can sometimes place excessive pressure on the person and even deprive them of the most basic level of self-confidence. (Passage omitted)
That said, it would certainly be a problem if they really did nothing but eat, sleep, and play every day, but basically I feel that as long as they are healthy, that is enough.
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